WO-HO-HO IT'S MAGIC

Sit right down over here, boys and girls, and weird old Aunt NowNow will tell you some stories.  You see, once upon a time, there was no MTV.  Nope -- there really was a day when it didn't exist at all!  Radio stations pretty much determined what everybody listened to.  Of course, that was back before radio stations were all a reprehensible sham of marketing fraud, and music was still what even they were all about, before they were all about inculcating hate in a stupid segment of the population that had no imagination and no filters as to what was truth and what was self-serving lies.

Now, just you wait a second, Johnny -- Aunt NowNow needs a Valium.

Oh sure, there was a little bit of effect from television, mostly what was called the variety show  -- Dick Clark's American Bandstand and Where The Action Is, and shows like Mike Douglas and Merv Griffin during the day and Johnny Carson at night; Hootenanny, and local ripoffs of all the shows listed ... then and on came Don Kirshner's Rock Concert and Burt Sugarman's Midnight Special.  Midnight Special had Wolfman Jack on it, but you couldn't possibly have any idea who he is. 

Let's see, who do I remember seeing on there that you would remember?  The Bee Gees?  No ... Peter Frampton?   No ... Oh, yeah -- Steven Tyler!  Right, that old pervert who still dresses like he's seventeen, and talks about sex like he could actually have had it in the last decade.  You're absolutely right -- that is also a good description of Ted Nugent, except Ted Nugent is a misogynist.  Can you say misogynist?   That's okay, you shouldn't have to.  Just ignore Mr. Nugent and you probably won't have to, unless Daddy listens to Howard Stern or lets you watch South Park!

Well, as a matter of fact, no, dearie -- that was many years before Pearl Jam.  They only seem to have been around forever.  David Bowie, though -- he really has been around forever.  I don't know -- good plastic surgeon, I guess.

But back to what I started to say -- radio stations used to be the biggest determining factor in how many records were sold, and what kind, and to whom.  Twenty five or thirty years ago, about the only people who bought rock and roll and pop records were in a really narrow range between about fifteen and twenty-five years old.  There wasn't any marketing to little boys and girls, like they do now with Britney Spears and N'Sync -- music had to sell to everybody who might buy it, for the most part, or at least radio stations had to cover that range.  FM stations still play a big part in this, today, but back in the seventies, FM stations were few and far between -- most radio stations that played music were on the AM dial.  What's that?  Right, where your idiot mommy and daddy listen to Dr. Laura and that big, fat idiot Limbaugh fellow.  When I was your age, those stations played popular music, at least in the evenings and on the weekends.

Well, no -- for the most part, that didn't mean the music was any better or worse.   Just different.  Very much different, in ways you could never comprehend.   That's right -- that's why I'm so weird.  You'd be weird, too, if you'd watched things change that much.  You will be this weird, by the time you're as old as I am, because things will probably change that much faster.  No, don't run away -- what are you screaming about?  Ah, well -- it's not like I asked for this.

DISCLAIMER:

The author of this page and the attendant links bears NO RESPONSIBILITY for ancient pieces of crappy AMpop music that may wind up stuck in the back of your head -- or even in the front of your head -- because you read these links.  So don't even complain to me.

Andy Kim "Rock Me Gently"

Randy Newman "Short People"

Gilbert O'Sullivan "Alone Again (Naturally)"

Nick Gilder "Hot Child In The City"

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