How could they suck so much?
THEY'RE AUSTRALIAN, AFTER ALL!

Which is to say, there are several Aussie bands I really like -- Midnight Oil, AC/DC (before Bon Scott aspirated his innardly-rejected alcohol and a Vauxhall became a casket, then they hired Brian Johnson and turned AC/DC into a casket), The Angels.  There are a few more recent ones, too, I swear -- I just don't have their names right here. 

But I digress.  Most Aussie bands are pretty cool, by and large.  So what rabid wallaby's ass did some record company find from whence to pull Little River Band?

No, there really aren't any 'cool' LRB songs.  They must, by now, be the national embarrassment of Australia.  Even more embarrassing than the world's (mistaken) impression that the folk song, Waltzing Matilda, is the Australian national anthem.  Jolly swagman, my billabong.

Lonesome Loser isn't even the worst -- Reminiscing is considerably more schmaltzy.  Lonesome Loser has just the right bathetic, pity-party tone to go with some of the other songs on this list, though.  I liked the song the first time I heard it, actually, unlike Reminiscing, which I found gag-inducing from the first time.

I think it's the 'beaten by the Queen of Hearts every time' line that makes it extra goopy.  There wasn't enough California-studio-extruded corn syrup on the radio, back then -- we needed some blunder from Down Under.  Little River Band fit the bill.   They were like a pot-free America.  And let's be honest -- if the guys in America hadn't smoked pot, there wouldn't have been even the thinnest premise on which to hang a 'yeah, but Tin Man isn't that bad a song.'

BLARGH.